Navarathri Series : DAY 5 - MAA SKANDAMATA

The Demon of Self-Neglect: The Woman Behind the Roles

Theme: You are more than everything you do for everyone else.

Maa Skandamata, the mother of Lord Skanda, embodies maternal love, protection, compassion and strength. She reminds us of the extraordinary power of a mother's love and the fierce devotion with which she protects those entrusted to her care.

For many women, motherhood is one of the most profound experiences of their lives. It can bring a depth of love, purpose and transformation that words can hardly describe.

But motherhood can also become the place where women slowly disappear from their own lives.

We become the planners, the caregivers, the emotional support systems, the ones who remember appointments, prepare meals, manage school activities and know exactly what everyone needs.

We learn to function while tired. To worry while working. To make decisions while exhausted. To put our own dreams on hold because there is always something more urgent to attend to.

And somewhere along the way, we may stop asking ourselves a very important question.

Who am I, beyond the roles I fulfil?

Who am I when I am not someone's mother, wife, daughter, sister, employee/employer or friend?

What do I enjoy? What do I want? What makes me feel alive? What have I set aside because I convinced myself that everyone else needed me more?

The demon of self-neglect convinces us that our needs can wait indefinitely.

It tells us that a good mother must always put her children first, that a good daughter must never disappoint her parents, that a good partner must keep giving, and that a good woman should be able to manage everything without asking for help.

But love was never meant to require the disappearance of the person giving it.

Maa Skandamata's maternal strength does not need to be interpreted as an instruction for women to endure endlessly. Instead, we can see her as a reminder of the dignity, wisdom and power within the maternal form.

A mother deserves nourishment, too. A caregiver deserves care. A woman who has spent years holding others together deserves space to discover what she needs.

And this message extends beyond motherhood. Even women who are not mothers can lose themselves in careers, relationships, family obligations or the expectations placed upon them.

For me, motherhood remains one of the most precious parts of my life. My daughter continues to be a source of love and purpose, and being her mother is a role I treasure deeply and consider to be one of the most important I will play in my being. 

But becoming a mother and being a wife also taught me how easily a woman's identity can become wrapped around the people she cares for.

As I navigate life after my marriage, I am learning that being a devoted mother does not mean I must forget the woman who exists beyond motherhood.

I want my daughter to grow up seeing that a woman can love her family wholeheartedly while still having dreams of her own. I want her to understand that caring for herself is not selfish, that her voice matters and that she does not need to disappear into a role to prove her love.

She deserves a mother who nurtures her, but she also deserves to see a woman who values herself, grows through difficult seasons and believes that her own life still holds possibilities.

Perhaps that is one of the most important lessons I can carry forward from this chapter of my life: the example we set for our daughters is shaped not only by what we teach them, but by how we treat ourselves.

You do not have to wait for burnout to justify resting. You do not need permission to have a hobby, nurture a friendship, pursue a dream or spend an afternoon doing absolutely nothing productive.

Your identity deserves room to breathe.

This Navarathri, let us destroy the belief that self-neglect is a measure of our love. Let us elevate self-care, shared responsibility, compassion and the understanding that a woman's well-being matters in its own right.

Your Navarathri reflection: What part of yourself have you neglected while caring for others, and what small step could help you reconnect with it?

A prayer to Maa Skandamata

Maa, bless me with the wisdom to nurture without losing myself. Teach me to extend compassion to my own heart and to recognise that caring for myself does not diminish my love for others. May I create a life in which love flows in every direction, including towards me.

Jai Maa Skandamata.

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P.S. These are my personal letters and reflections, written from my own journey and understanding. They are not intended to be deep scriptural interpretations, but rather an invitation to pause, reflect and perhaps look at life a little differently. If these words inspire you to think more deeply, question your own beliefs or see something from a new perspective, then they have served their purpose. ❤️